I haven’t had time to be sad in three weeks and I just really need a day where I can be alone and feel like shit. I need time to hurt myself, to chain smoke, to hate myself. I’m tired of being ok.
Growing up with social anxiety
• fear of using public bathrooms
• hating coming in late to school and having to walk into the classroom late
• knowing the right answer to a question asked but not wanting to raise your hand to answer it
• always staying inside
• like the comfort of your home better than anywhere else
• dreading going out somewhere
• hating talking to people you didn’t know
• unable to say your order to someone
• getting a mini heart attack when someone taps your shoulder to ask you something
• having a small anxiety attack walking in to a new class and not knowing anyone or where to sit
I thought I could handle losing her but fuck, I feel lost.
I will get drunk and kiss strangers, and I will dance all night with my friends.
I will cry for you on the kitchen floor, but I won’t ask you to come back.
One year ago you were a reason why i didn’t kill myself.
Now you are the main reason why i want to be dead.
| — | My broken heart. (via depressed-baby-unicorn) |
